Supermom and her kryptonite

“How have you been?” -one guy

“Soooo busy…..I’m not even sure what day it is” -another guy

“Can you come over for dinner?” -one person

“I would love to but we have so much going on this weekend. Ask me again next week”. -yet another person

“Hey, did you remember to bring that thing I asked you about?” -my wife

“No, I forgot! I am so sorry. I have had so much going on lately that I barely remember to put my shoes on in the morning.” – me

These are several variations of conversations either I have with someone or am on the other side. And, it seems to be viewed as a good thing.

One time in my youth ministry carreer I was introduced to a youth mom that was presented as “Super-mom” because of all of the things she juggled. Apparently she had the supernatural ability to be at work, volunteering at school, cook dinner, and keep her house neat and tidy at the same time. I guess her only kyroptonite is having a free moment.

In fact, it has been my experience over the last few years that the “badge of honor” for most folks is their ability to be busy or appear busy at all times. Some might call it an addiction or some other diagnosis.

I would call it an insecurity.

Trevor and Allen have done a great job both outlining what a day without margins looks like as well as what white space in a schedule could look like. Yet, we have to ask ourselves the question: can we bear to slow down and disengage once in a while?

In our church community it is no secret that I have a facination with the early church community as stated in the latter parts Acts 2 and Acts 4. For some reason these people found a way to live out Christ’s mission in a way that put everyone “in awe”. As I read it, four main things happend:

They followed Christ’s teachings as taught by the apostles.

They spent tons of time together.

They broke bread.

They prayed.

Stop now and read Acts 2:42-47. The blog will be here when you get back.

How foriegn is this community? Could this actually exist today?

Do you think they had any time and patience for people being “just too busy” to have a meal together or forget their neighbors needs because the have “too much going on”?

You see, a life without margins is kryptonite to real and authentic community. When there is really only space to wake up, go to work, go to practice, do homework, watch a little TV, and go to bed- when will there ever be time partake in what is good and real in our communities?

So, this is your chance to respond. Has life without margins caused you to ever say “no” to living life in community? What did that look like?

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About chrisrobey

Just a husband, father, and follower of Christ. Program Director of Teen Lifeline, INC. Also, I am mildly obsessed with Star Wars humor.
This entry was posted in Community, No Margins, Technology. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Supermom and her kryptonite

  1. We are so enjoying this blog journey with three young men, only two of whom we know. We can relate to this time factor or could when we were young. Frankly, the older generation i think, and i could be wrong, only plays this card now when we don’t want to make the time. Jim and I love having time to do the things that we should have done “back when”. Looking “back when” i can now see that we used being tied up and so busy as an excuse sometime not to do the things we either found boring, beneath us, not challenging, not important and frankly things we would’t get credit for doing. Now, as we draw closer to eternity and the Father, it is easier and the things that mattered when we were young no longer matter. (A secret we try to keep is that its easier not to sin or at least not the sins of commission.) Its on of the perks of growing up. (sometime translated as “growing older”) Keep up this wonderful journey and we will praise God for all three of you and thank him that you are in our lives. Jim and Beverly Marshall

    • chrisrobey says:

      Beverly,

      Thanks so much for your feedback on our blog. There tends to be a tension between the older generation and the younger about this subject and I appreciate your refreshing honesty about what it means to live in community. I struggle more than most to make time for what is important in life. Really, this post speaks more to me than anyone else.

      Thanks for speaking up and contributing. I look forward to hearing more from you as this thing goes on.

      Chris

    • Allen Carr says:

      I connect so much with your statement: “we used being tied up and so busy as an excuse sometime not to do the things we wither found boring, beneath us, not challenging, not important and frankly things we wouldn’t get credit for doing.” I think there is so much wisdom in this statement.

      A speaker I recently heard said something similar: “We are not so busy that we cannot be present; we do not want to be present, so we are busy.” When you look at the statistics of how much time the average person spends on the internet, mobile apps, etc, it’s apparent how much we use technology to appear busy so we don’t have to do the things we really don’t want to do.

      What you remind me is that this is not a new problem, but one that has been around forever that simply has a new face. While it may present itself differently according to generation or context, it’s something we all battle.

      That’s why it’s such a wonderful blessing to hear your voice in the conversation. Thanks!

  2. philipotts says:

    When you are at a stage of life that is inherently “busy”, then I think that it is important to extend your idea of community to those who you wouldn’t necessarily think to be in your inner circle. I can be extremely busy yet still find common ground and share these traits with those who I am around during my busy time.

    At work there are coworkers and children to share life with. At soccer practice there are other parents and their children with whom to experience community. Even in the waking up, bathing kids, getting ready for work, there can be times of loving interaction between family members. The key is to find the value in those people who you may not normally seek community with. We should try and see every moment as an opportunity to relate to those around you.

    I think this may be a little tougher for some than others (think about a single mom or a parent with a spouse on a tour overseas), I wouldn’t call their business insecurity, but rather necessity.

    • chrisrobey says:

      Thanks for the reply, Phil.

      I am sure that for both of our families it is a very busy time. When you have little ones, your time is stretched and there are more balls to juggle. For many that I have encountered, there has been a lot of “give up” when it comes to the loads we carry. For many of us its – well, just “life”. But that is exactly why I wrote this. We need to have these conversations.

      And, when it comes to insecurity, I will throw myself under the bus. Often I am busy by my own choice. If I said no to certain things, my sense of self worth would be shaken in some cases. My being busy often is fueled by my own insecurities. Because, I want to be needed and wanted.

      Thats why I talked about the community in Acts 2 as the example of this. What we often pursue in a hectic schedule can often be found when we create some space for relationships to grow and flourish. I think that, while we will never really escape being busy all the time, we definitely have the choice to choose something better.

      Thanks for your response.

      • philipotts says:

        “And, when it comes to insecurity, I will throw myself under the bus. Often I am busy by my own choice. If I said no to certain things, my sense of self worth would be shaken in some cases. My being busy often is fueled by my own insecurities. Because, I want to be needed and wanted.”

        A light bulb went off for me when you explained it like this.I didn’t think of it like that when I read it, but this is a great point. I can definitely relate. I am constantly being asked to be on committees or represent the district in some way, and I really don’t have the time to take away from my family or students. But I am worried about how my “no” answer will be perceived, so I give in and do it so that I don’t cause waves.

        I guess I was looking at it in a “lemonade out of lemons” way, when what you are saying is that we don’t have to settle for lemons.

  3. Pingback: Sacred Margins | sacredmargins

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