God bless my wife. She puts up with so much from me, but this week might have taken the cake.
You see, we experienced a long and very busy week last week due to some overcommitments, a stacked up schedule, and some real legitimate obligations.
Then, it was Saturday night and I totally forgot about Mother’s Day. Dum, dum dum…….
As we drove around meeting our various obligations, I realized that I had absolutely no time to get any shopping done, let alone get a card. So, I got frustrated. Eventually it got out that I had forgotten to get Mother’s Day stuff worked out (my wife is thankful that I don’t have a good “poker face”). She wasn’t upset, but I was. I started blaming life and how busy things were and that if I only had more time, I would have gotten this done.
Obviously she was hurt, not because I waited till the last minute, but because I was complaining about having to do something that I should naturally want to do. It had become an obligation, not a choice to honor her for Mother’s Day.
Since I had given into being overwhelmed, I had lost sight of what was important. I had created some fake margins to express my love for the mother of my child. What I hadn’t considered is that many folks across the world celebrate holidays at different times because of obligations.
Many families celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve because of work, or distance. Birthdays are often celebrated on a different day so loved ones can be together. Often, anniversary trips are postponed to get childcare lined up.
Because, the heart behind the occasion is much more important than the occasion itself. When things are forced out of obligation, messages are sent to those we love that are not neccisarily true.
Because, I love my wife more than she will ever know. And, I want to show her that as often as I can. But, when I get myself in a bind and make it about something other than honoring her and how fantastic she is as a mom, then I am missing the point.
I don’t know which is worse: fake margins or no margins at all. On one hand if we have no margins – that is no space in which to see God working in our world, then we are missing out on the opportunity to live a life where God is around every turn and is evident in all we do.
Yet, when we obey forms and rituals without purpose or out of obligation, are we really in a better spot?
Because, relationships are special and real – there is no room for what is fake or showy. What if we were people who exchanged what was fake for what is real?
You tell us – how have you exchanged real margins for fake ones? That is-how have you made what was meant to be sacred and special into something you do out of obligation?